SuperBanana - My Weight Loss Journey

Whatever Happened to SuperBanana?

2012-01-22T01:32:00.001-08:00

Well no idea if anyone will read this or not. It has been so long since I posted!

Shortly after my last post, my now ex-husband decided to physically assault me in a rage (which actually wasn't that uncommon to be fair). The thing is I had changed so much and realised I was worth so much more than that so I just didn't want to take his anger or moods any more or be treated like that any more and I started making my plans to leave. I had been here before - when I first started this weight loss journey we had just gotten back together after a horrible one year separation after he made promises to change. The reason I ever needed to lose weight so badly was that I was so down and depressed over my life in general. I felt so bad about myself and trapped in an awful situation which I could hardly bear to accept was real.

So roll on 2 1/2 rather turbulent years during which life as I knew it has pretty much been blown out of the water and I have just filed for divorce. I have met a lovely new man who I have a fantastic friendship with. We are taking things very slow - we have both been burned before and have kids and others in our lives we need to think about too but he is awesome and he makes me feel wonderful. I didn't know life could be so good or that I could feel so happy or free.

Sadly on the weight front, the hard stuff I have been through has led to more emotional eating (just what I seem to do - duh you think I would learn!)and hence I have put much of the weight I lost back on. I am in a good head space now though - ready to get my life back on track and chase my dreams again. I joined WW again at the beginning of this year. I weighed in at 76kg and lost 900g the first week and 600g the second week. I am now into my third week. I am going to keep blogging to record my journey cause thats what worked for me before - so watch this space. This year is SuperBanana's year!

Chipping Away at It, Running Half Marathons, and Behaviour Modification Strategies

2009-10-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well I can run a half marathon! Who would have thought? Me, who could hardly make the mail box in Feb 08, can run a half marathon. Any it wasn't a fluke either!!

I did a practice run towards the end of September. Did it in 2 hours 42 minutes (including 2 bathroom stops lol!!). Very slow but wanted to make sure I could do the distance. As I got to about 19km I just started grinning and saying to myself "I can actually do it, I can run a half marathon!". It took about five days for the smile to leave my face. The sense of accomplishment was amazing. Definitely recommended!

I did my first official half marathon last Sunday. Really enjoyed it. Managed to shave quite a bit of time off coming in at 2 hours 25 minutes 58 seconds. Not quite the buzz that I got from doing the distance the first time around but very pleased with myself none the less.

The icing on the cake for me I guess was a beautiful card I got from hubby which reads "I am very proud. I think you have done very well. You have impressed a lot of people. Keep trying. The two hour mark is not that far off for you. I love and support you." I was deeply touched. He is not big on soppy words and sentiments. Almost made me cry.

Now I know that I can do the distance, I am now focussing on getting my speed up. Both previous runs I was terrified of running out of gas before the finish line so really paced myself. My next half marathon is November 1 so hoping to maybe shave some more time off for that.

And still chipping away at the weight. Had a loss this morning of 900g which I am pleased with but have had lots of littler ones for a few weeks before that. It has taken me a whole month to not have a 64 in my weight number. A little bit frustrating but I can definitely see myself getting smaller and more toned. So I keep chipping away at it. Never give up!!

Also thrilled to report that I am noticing myself modifying my behaviours in a really good sustainable way. Like managing an all you can eat buffet in a way that I could be really proud of (one plate of mains - mostly vegies, one plate of dessert - mostly fruit, and two herbal teas to follow - and enjoying the experience and food without feeling deprived). I also came home and made nice pasta and salad the night my boys had burgers and fries and really enjoyed it. I really felt like it was much, much nicer than what they were having. I have also been making good choices almost automatically when we eat out. All things I am really proud of. Strategies for life!!

Anyhow enough from me for today. Thanks everyone for your support. I have had lots of kind words lately about my blog and compliments from people. It all makes me feel really good about myself and what I have achieved - so thanks!

I can do this!

2009-09-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well it feels like it has been ages and ages since I have posted. Actually it has been ages and ages since I last posted.

I got really busy before we went away in July getting everything organised so we could go away for 3 1/2 weeks, then we had a fabulous 3 1/2 weeks in Australia (during which I put on about 7 kilos eek!! but I really did enjoy having a break from thinking about my weight for a while). As soon as we got back I determined to get right back on track and I did. I am really proud of that.

I have lost the 7kilos I put on in Australia and some over the past 8 weeks.

I am now rearing to go for the finish line. I want this. I can do this. Its not that far away now.

And have been training madly for my first half marathon on October 11. I am doing three over the next few months - 11 October, 5 November, and 28 November. It has been great to feel the muscles in my legs strengthening. I am certainly feeling much fitter and more toned than I was.

So watch this space. I am on fire right now!

The Same, The Same

2009-06-04T13:29:00.000-07:00

Well have finished May pretty much the same weight I finished April so things cruise along some good days some bad days and weight staying about the same the same. At least when I get to maintenance I should be pretty good at this!

I have been sick most of the past month with a nasty bug. Thought I was almost over it and wham got struck down with a second lot full force worse than the first time. So feeling a bit sorry for myself really. Am sick of being sick. Want to get into my half marathon training for November but for now am concentrating on getting well and catching back up on everything that has slipped whilst I have been sick. At least I am making progress though. My To Do List is slowly getting crossed off. Counting down to going away at the end of the month. Can't wait but must keep moving or will never be ready to make that plane. So full steam ahead. Would still like to lose a few kilos too but am not putting too much pressure on myself at the moment. Just want to get properly well!

What Am I Doing To Myself???

2009-05-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

What am I doing to myself. I have had a crappy week. It has rained all week and I have not been out for even one run. I have done no exercise. Have eaten crap and have gained 1.7kg. So much for regaining my mojo!

This week has got to be better.

The Plan!

2009-04-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

OK Bronny has a plan so I thought I should get one too.

What motivates me? Well numbers are very motivating for me. I am also very goal oriented. And I like star charts and ticking things off lists when completed. So my plan is going to incorporate some of these things. OK I know I am too old for a star chart but I am going to have one anyway.

Now because our bodies are strange things and don't always do exactly what we think they should when we think they should, I am going to reward the desired behaviours rather than the number outcome on the scale.

So here is my list. I get a "star" for each day I tick each item on my list. If at the end of the week I manage 7 stars then I am going to give myself a treat. I haven't decided what yet but it has to be something I won't let myself have unless I earn it. And it can't be food related. Maybe a massage, or some money to put aside for my goal wardrobe or something like that. Thinking, thinking.

So the list is:

1. Drink a minimum of 2L pure water.
2. Eat a minimum of 2 serves of fruit.
3. Eat a minimum of 5 serves of vegies.
4. Eat 2 serves of low fat dairy a day.
5. Take my multivitamin and oil tablets.
6. Do a minimum of 10,000 steps on my pedometer.
7. Post an update on the WW boards.
8. Eat only core apart from up to 3 points extra per day which must be earned through exercise. If I don't earn them, I don't get them.
9. Drink no alcohol except at special social occasions and then no more than 2 drinks which must be paid for out of abovementioned points.
10. Do a minimum of 30 minutes continuous exercise each day at least 5 times a week.

OK thats it. Now off to start earning my first star.

The Challenge!

2009-04-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well my WW meeting is being cancelled, the leader I have clicked with is being promoted and she no longer gets to take meetings, and I am sick of feeling like an outcast for doing the Core Plan. So WW I am not feeling very impressed with you right now.

The solution - I am going to the last hurrah at my WW meeting on Friday morning, I am going to get my pre-paid stamps refunded, and I am going to do WW online. I have the support of some local WW girls who are also not attending meetings. They will have to be my meeting support. And I have my blog and the WW boards. And I have myself!

The new plan - I have altered my goal weights to reflect the magic number that I have in my head again. 55kgs. This is what I want to get to - and tricking myself into aiming for just the top of my healthy weight range has not worked. I have just been pissing around treading water. Time to get serious again.

I am going to Queensland for three and a half weeks in July. We leave 1 July. That is 9 weeks away today exactly. I have weighed in this morning on my home scales. They say 65.4. That is 10.4kgs to get to my goal.

I am going to give it my very best shot to rid myself of those 10.4kgs or at least as much of it as I can before we go away in July. I will have to be very focussed. It is about time I tried actually trying to do this again. I have just gotten too comfortable. On the plus side maintenance should be a breeze. I have been hovering around the same weight now for almost a year!

So thats it, thats the goal. Come on Andee. You and me can do this!

DO, or DO NOT. There is no try!

2009-04-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't posted in ages. Truth is I have been sulking and self sabotaging rather masterfully for most of the past month. I was very disappointed in myself after registering for a half marathon on 5 April and not managing to complete it. One of my calf muscles started to really ache about 1km in and didn't get any better so I wound up dropping out after 10.5km (having hobbled much of this in great agony!). I was gutted. I was really enjoying riding high on my feelings of success so I took the feeling of failure very hard. I was very disappointed that my mental toughness wasn't enough to see me through even though I was really sore. So what do I do. Sulk and self sabotage for about 3 weeks and decide that I can't do what I set out to achieve after all. Well enough is enough. Time to put on my big girl undies and deal with it. Crap happens sometimes.

So I am back on the WW band wagon and back training for my next half marathon in either July or August. I have a long way to go. I have lost a lot of fitness in 3+ weeks. Serves me right really. But I am determined. I will do it this time!

Tongariro Trip

2009-04-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

Well I am just back from a five day trip with Mr 16's geography class. We completed the Tongariro Alpine Crossing (a 18.5km hike across rough volcanic landscape) - see pictures and also did some smaller hikes, white water rafting on the Tongariro River, and even swam under the freezing Taranaki Falls and jumped off a waterfall into the freezing Tongariro River. I had an awesome time. What a great bunch of kids - if they are our future we are doing OK. It was great to challenge myself to see what I could physically do. I am pleased to report that I have much better stamina than I thought - I think the kids were more tired than I was! This is something I just could not have done a year ago. I am so grateful to have reclaimed my health and zest for life. Life is an exiciting journey and I want to experience as much of it as I can.

Running, Walking, and Losing Weight

2009-03-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well after not weighing the week before last, I have had a loss this week of 300g. Whilst its not a huge loss, I am happy given the very "foody" nature of the last couple of weekends.

Have also enjoyed walking up Mount Maunganui, completing the Round the Bays fun run (8.4km) and doing lots of other walking and running lately.

So lots of running, walking, and losing a little bit of weight. Have certainly noticed my jeans getting looser and am getting loads of compliments again so whilst the scales may not have moved much, I do feel skinnier and healthier and I am most certainly fitter. Long may it last!

200g Less

2009-03-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

Weigh in this week and I have lost another 200g. Not that impressive I guess but I am happy with that given that this is my heavy week and that I am now 100g lighter than my 2008 lightest weight. I am now losing new weight! Feels awesome.

I have put some photos of me at the wedding we went to on the weekend on my blog. I am not very happy with the photos but they are all I have. I did feel great and had comments from people who haven't seen me for ages how stunning I looked. The bride kept telling me that every time she saw me.

We had a great weekend away.

Having a Ball

2009-03-01T11:34:00.000-08:00

Weigh in this week and I have lost another 500g giving me an official WW weight of 65 and bringing my total loss to date to 20.4kg. That is only 100g off my lightest 2008 weight of 64.9 on 30 June 2008. Almost back to the starting blocks! Just imagine where I would be if I had managed to stay on track properly during my overseas holiday, moving house, and starting homeschooling. Still I am proud to be 20.4kg lighter and to have almost made it back to the starting block.

Went hiking this week with Mr 16's Year 12 Geography class on a volcanic island. Had a fabulous day. I really am so much fitter than this time last year.

Also ran a trial run of a 10.5km lap. Two of these laps comprise the half marathon I am aiming for in April. I ran the whole way without stopping and completed it in 1 hour 20 minutes. I know that I am pretty slow but am stoked to have made the whole way without stopping. Now to work on my speed. Oh and that second lap!

I really am enjoying my exercise so much at the moment. I am having a ball!

Shouting From the Rooftops!

2009-02-19T16:59:00.001-08:00

Today I am shouting from the rooftops.

I am one week in to my official 2009 weight loss effort and have lost 2.7kgs this past week.

Core really works when you focus and do it properly!

YAAAHOOOO!!

You Gotta Have Faith!

2009-02-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

TTL, one of the ladies from the WW boards, asked me last week was I nervous leading up to the duathlon.

I can honestly say no. I slept like a baby the night before the event, woke up and enjoyed a hearty breakfast, and didn't have any butterflies or nerves at all.

Why wasn't I nervous? Well firstly I knew I could do it, because I had done it before. Secondly, I had a strategy and had been doing some training. Thirdly and most importantly, I have renewed faith in myself and my ability to do things. That is an awesome feeling. I know what I am capable of. I know what I can achieve. I believe in myself. I can trust myself to finish what I start. Now if you could bottle that feeling and sell it you would be an instant millionaire.

You gotta have faith!

2nd Annual Duathlon

2009-02-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

I did my second ever duathlon yesterday. Same course. Different me.

Even though I had a horrible head cold, felt pretty crappy, and had ttotm full force, I managed to do the course much better than last time. I not only shaved 12.5 minutes off my time (coming in at 1 hour 4 minutes and 58 seconds), but had energy to burn afterwards.

I was really pleased with my effort given how unwell I felt. I do think I could have done better if I was well as I only pushed myself to about 75% and just made my goal finishing. I am proud of myself though because the old me wouldn't have even considered doing it. I would have just pulled the duvet back up over my head and gone back to sleep.

Next year I would like to finish in under an hour. Hopefully shave another 10 minutes off my time. I can't wait to see my photos for next year because I know that they are going to be great!

I am hugely impressed with the difference I can see in my photos but also in the difference with how I feel. It really is amazing. I kept buzzing around yesterday after the duathlon doing everything I needed to do. I had heaps of energy left. In fact if I wasn't for my cold, I could easily have done it all over again. I certainly did not feel like that last year. I think I slept and blobbed in front of the telly for the rest of the day and I was sore afterwards. This time I don't even know I've done anything extra.

I am so glad to have made such positive changes to my health in the 11 months since the first duathlon. I can't wait to see how much better I can look, feel, and be in another 11 months. Bring it on!

Moving the Goalposts

2009-02-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

Weighed in this morning at the Friday morning meeting I was attending for the first part of last year. I am 68.2kg on their scales this morning.

I have decided to start attending this meeting again regularly as that worked for me before. I am also switching back to pure core (also worked for me really well when I was doing just that).

I have moved my goal weight to the top of my healthy weight range which is 62kgs. I will re-evaluate when I get there. It seems too far away if I set my goal any lower. Just trying to get my initial motivation back. This is like a new start. Hopefully I will have a good loss to report next week. Enough mucking around. Time to do this!

February Resolutions

2009-02-02T18:21:00.000-08:00

2009 is my year!

I am going to get to goal this year and be the fittest and healthiest I have even been.

My Feb 09 start weight on my home scales is 66.7. My goal is 55 kg. Watch this space!

I also want to reduce my body fat percentage currently 38.2% and increase my fitness.

I have come a long way in the last year. I am very proud to have lost 20.5 kgs last year and to have finished the year 18kgs lighter than I started it. During 2007 I lost 10kg during the first half of the year and put it all back on finishing 2007 heavier than I started it. I don't want to keep losing the same kilos over and over again. This time it is for life. I just have to keep going.

I am thrilled to say that when I read through my reasons why at the beginning of my blog, I can see how far I have come healthwise. My feet no longer hurt, I don't get heartburn any more, and I don't feel so tired and lethargic all the time. I feel happier for the most part - still have my ups and downs but overall am feeling happier.

I would love to complete a half marathon and maybe even a full marathon this year.

I want to enjoy spending time with my family and friends.

I really want to get my house properly sorted and get more organised.

I want to be the best Mum I can be to my kids (16) and (12).

These are my goals for this year. My February resolutions!

2009 - New Year, New Me!

2009-01-23T13:37:00.000-08:00

OK I'm feeling all New Years Resolutionary (is there any such word?) all of a sudden.

I went back to my Friday morning meeting this morning and weighed in at 67.4kg. Thats a 500g gain from my last official WW weigh in before Christmas. Not too bad given Christmas and all the summer holidaying I have been doing.

My one year WW anniversary is coming up on the 1st of February so I feel kind of reflective about my weight loss over the last year. I just read through my entire blog history and it was really good for me to review just what I have (and haven't) achieved last year.

As I don't think I will make my Friday meeting next week due to yet another break away, I am going to aim to go to the Monday night meeting on 2 February (1 year and 1 day since the worst physical condition I have been in my entire life!). Then I think I will do a bit of a reflection of the past year and set some new goals for the new year. And I'm going to update my photo. Thats the plan. Watch this space.

Now I Feel Silly!

2009-01-20T12:50:00.000-08:00

Hhhmmm the universe is NOT conspiring against me. I just need to get myself a diary and use it!

The seminar I want to go to is on the 14th Feb and the duathlon on the 15th. So I get to do everything I wanted after all.

Yay, the universe is on my side after all.

New Years Resolution - Get myself organised!

The Universe Is Conspiring Against Me!

2009-01-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

Ok maybe that is a tad paranoid but it seems that every time I set a goal or make plans, everything changes on me and my plans get foiled.

For example - I have this goal before Xmas to wear a certain dress to hubby's work do and get all excited about working towards this goal and then wham the work do gets cancelled.

Then I have a goal to do this duathon in Feb. Have several friends saying they are keen to do it to and one by one nobody can. No probs - I can do it by myself. I did that last year. Then get an email this afternoon about a seminar that I really need to go to so that I can get the contacts and information I need to really help my son better with his schooling. Now I need to choose - me or my son. Why can't it just be a different weekend. Arghh!

But the icing on the cake comes when I'm visiting MIL the other day (having taken Mr 12 an hours drive to tutoring only to find that he didn't have a lesson that day after all!). I say to MIL in the course of conversation that we have a wedding to travel to on March 14th and we are going to take a few days off and stay somewhere nice for an extended weekend. I get this stony faced stare as she announces - that is the day of my 70th birthday party. What the .....? I had no idea! Then I get the hurt look of you guys should have known and the oh well its not like its your best friends wedding - they probably won't miss you. By this stage I am ready to scream. I have been looking forward to this weekend for ages! It has been another one of my weight loss inspirations! Get home and say to hubby looks like we can't go to that wedding. I mean what can you do really after getting a glare like that. Hubby says to double check the date on the invite and guess what, I had the weekend wrong. Now we can do the wedding and the MIL's 7oth. Double the reason to get my butt into gear and lose as much weight as I can before then.

Maybe the universe isn't conspiring against me after all.

Now to see if I can get them to move the duathlon to a different weekend. What do you think of my chances?

Don't You Just Love Summer!

2009-01-18T10:48:00.000-08:00

I love summer. I love the beach. I love relaxing with a book. I like the longer days. I like the fresh fish.

I don't like it be so hot at night that I cant' sleep but I do love summer.

I have had a really nice break for the most part. A few family dramas but for the most part have really enjoyed time away. The problem is I really need to get back into a proper routine. A few more weeks until the kids are back to school. I almost can't wait now - which is unusual for me.

Hubby has decided to take a week off work at the end of January and then his parents are coming to stay Waitangi Weekend so a bit more all over the place to survive and then we can get back to normal.

Don't get me wrong, I have loved all the family and food and relaxing - it just feels like time to get back to normal.

On the weight loss front, I've had some good days and some not so good days. I have done quite a bit or walking and some jogging (including a 5km jog down at Matamata), and another gym class. The scales are telling me I have put on about 2.5-3kg. I think I will weigh properly at my old Friday morning meeting this week and then go from there.

Merry Christmas Everybody

2008-12-23T10:38:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everybody! Hope you have a lovely Christmas break.

I am very excited this morning to weigh on my home scales and see 65.9 kg. To put this into perspective, I was 65.1kg the morning we left for Australia way back in July, BUT this is the lowest weight I have seen on my home scales since then . . . and just in time for Christmas :-)

I really would like to start the new year with just 10kg to go to get to goal. This is the Christmas present I would really like to give myself!

To those of you who are stressing about Christmas . . . remember it is just one day. Relax and enjoy it. Have a little bit of everything you want and then the next day get right back on track. This is my goal. Will let you know how I go.

Do You Want to Lose Weight or Not?

2008-12-18T11:20:00.000-08:00

This is the question I have to ask myself this week. The answer of course is yes, or I wouldn't be here.

But how badly do I want it. Well its seems this week that I have chosen to have too many yummy foods over losing weight. Thats OK - I can get back on track - But I do want to lose weight, so why am I sabotaging myself!

Missed weigh in this week - had a tradesman here later than I thought he would be and ended up not being able to go. A bit disappointed because even though I think I would have had a gain was interested to find out about the new plan. Having said that the new WW plan would have to be earth shattering brilliant for me to even consider it. Core works for me (when I do it properly!) The best thing about Core for me is that I can see myself actually being able to pretty much stick to it for the rest of my life. Certainly can't say that for any other "diet" programme including Points that I have ever come across before.

On a brighter note, did an exercise class with Leyland (one of the ladies from the WW boards) this week. Body Circuit. And it didn't kill me. I actually really enjoyed it.

Go well everyone. And remember "You always have a choice". If you choose to make decisions which lead to a gain over Christmas - that OK - Its your choice. If you choose to make decision which help you to maintain over Christmas - thats OK- Its your choice. And if you choose to make decision to hopefully lose over Christmas - thats OK too. It really is your choice! What do you choose?

Now I'm On Fire!

2008-12-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

I have had rotten toothache all week. My face felt like it was being pounded with a jack hammer. The only good thing about toothache is that you feel so miserable food is just not a priority and well guess what - the upside of having to have a root canal filling done yesterday is . . . wait for it . . . that I lost 2.3kg this week!

Amazing! And actually it goes to show that I was just eating too much food! Most of my food is pretty good food now but my portions have certainly crept up. Losing weight is a simple energy equation and my equations of late have not been stacked in favour of good losses which in turn has really affected my determination and commitment - so there you go.

Amazing!

And I have just started reading Kerre Woodham's book "Short Fat Chick to Marathon Runner" which hubby brought me for my birthday in August. You know what, if Kerre Woodham can run a marathon then so can I.

I need a massive goal for next year. A really massive goal. Homeschooling my son has meant that I have lost the ability to have really massive goals in the business world for a while. But do you know what, maybe I can train for a marathon next year. I am going to give it some serious thought.

A half marathon, pfft. If I can get my head around going the whole hog then thats just what I am going to do. What a scary thought. But maybe I could . . .

Chipping Away At It

2008-12-01T18:51:00.001-08:00

Another 500g gone this week. Pleased with that given that I have had a number of food functions this week. Just need to keep chipping away at this and keep reminding myself this is for life so slow and steady is good. Actually any loss this time of the year is probably something to celebrate is it not?

It was exciting this week to meet up with three of the ladies from the WW boards for coffee. What a great bunch of ladies! Hopefully we will be able to provide some added motivation for each other.

Drumroll Please . . .

2008-11-26T11:45:00.000-08:00

OK so my personal best steps were . . . 30,158. Very proud of that effort. Even went for another walk after tea with Mr 15 to push me over the 30,000 mark.

Now to see if can beat it!

1kg down

2008-11-25T19:54:00.000-08:00

Well lost 1kg at weigh in this week so pleased with that but given my 1.2kg gain last week I feel like I am going nowhere fast!

The good news is that I will have achieved a personal best with my pedometer steps today having already done more than 25,000 steps today. I will post my actual total tomorrow. Very proud of this as I am normally somewhere between 10,000 - 15,000.

Now to focus on a loss again this week. I want to be a big loser!

%#$@^&%

2008-11-17T17:58:00.000-08:00

Weigh in last night and I really didn't want to go. I did not do any exercise much last week and although my Mon-Thur were pretty good, Thur evening until Monday morning were a complete WW write off. Suffice to say I have gained 1.2kg and I deserved it! Now to get over myself and do what I set out to do - which is to plug away at this weight loss thing until I reach goal. This week I do better!

Lots of Little Goals

2008-11-10T10:35:00.000-08:00

Lost 200g at weigh in last night. A bit less than I would have liked but at least a loss. Bugger my weekend food woopses! Got caught short at Guy Fawkes event with limited food choices and ended up having hot chips and had lunch at MIL's - shes a fab cook but it isn't normally very core friendly. Bit disappointed with myself because I could have been better prepared and made better choices but at least I didn't pig out!

Lots of little goals for me at the moment. I am feeling motivated to do this. Lil black dress baby, Christmas, Duathlon in Feb, seeing people over Christmas break who I haven't seen in a year and want to wow them with how much I've lost, wedding in March to attend. Lots of little goals for these events. Just want to be the best SuperB I can be!

Back Over the Half Way Mark

2008-11-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Lost 1.1kg at weigh in last night which puts me back over the half way mark to goal. I finally feel like I am getting back on track. Now that I am here I am staying here! To goal and beyond.

Have started doing a bit more exercise. Am hoping to do another duathlon in February next year and maybe train for the Auckland half marathon towards the end of next year. Have also started doing some resistance training.

I am looking forward to fitting into a little black dress I brought in Aussie whilst over there in July. It was a little bit too small then. I would love to get into it for Christmas. We will see. I will have to work hard. If I do you will definitely get a new picture on my blog.

OK It Really Is Time!

2008-10-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

We are finally settled in the new house and have gotten some sort of routine back in to our lives. Can't believe how difficult moving was for me this time. I feel like I have had so many changes in my life this year - its been a bit like someone has ripped the rug out from under me actually.

Anyhow time to get back on with this journey.

The sad news is that when I finally got back to my meeting on 13 October 2008, I weighed in at 71.8kg. This is what I deserve! I have been like a relapsed food addict on the rampage trying to make sense of my topsy turvy world by eating and drinking. Very bad strategy!

The good news is that after one full week back on core I feel much better and in control and have lost 1.4kg bringing my total weight loss back to 15kg. Now to get back to the 20kg I had lost! It does my head in having gained back weight. If you have a bad day or week get straight back on track. It gets so much harder otherwise and one bad meal, day, or week leads to another and another and before you know it you have done heaps of damage and then have to deal with the feelings of major failure which accompany that. Stay on track!

1.6 Kg Down

2008-08-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well have lost 1.6kg at my last weigh in, then missed the weigh in after that, and will probably miss this week too due to my crazy busy life right now.

I can't wait to get settled in our new house and with all the big changes in our lives and get my focus back on my weight loss journey a bit better.

Focus!

2008-08-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well I had a disastrous week. I know exactly what happened - It was TTOTM and things are busy and stressful at home so what do I do - eat too much, eat the wrong things, drink too much, and do no exercise!

The result - I have gained another 1kg this week.

I am also feeling tired and know that I need to get back on track as I have so much more energy when I am doing core properly - so I have to do this.

Next week I lose.

A New Challenge

2008-08-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

OK so I lost 20kg doing the WW Core plan between 1/2/08 - 30/6/08. Then I went on holiday during July and gained 3.7kg.

So now . . . . I NEED A FRESH START AND A NEW CHALLENGE.

So here it is. I have 13.6kg to lose to get to my personal goal weight of 55kg. I would love to do this by Christmas. So starting from today this is my new goal.

I CAN DO THIS!!

I have to admit that getting back on track has been really hard and that with so much going on at the moment my weight loss journey feels much more difficult right now. But I CAN DO THIS.

Reality with a Thud!

2008-07-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

Well am home from our wonderful 3+ week holiday in sunny Queensland and had a fabulous time. It was so nice to have some warmer weather and sunshine. We had a week at the Sheraton in Port Douglas which was heavenly and then flew down to Brisbane, drove up to Noosa and spent 3 days, to Caloundra to see friends for 2 days, to Surfers Paradise for 10 days, and then Brisbane for 2 days.

Have hit reality with a bit of a thud however as upon landing back in NZ have encountered one of the worst storms we have had in about 10 years - rather poor timing on our part me thinks! And it is cold! Someone send me back to Port Douglas please!

Am very proud to say that I did all of the scary rides in the theme parks at Surfers Paradise including all of the roller coasters and the Giant Drop which is a 39 story free fall. Rather pleased to find myself still in the land of the living after that I can tell you. But what a buzz!

Sadly despite my best intentions the buffet breakfast at the Sheraton in Port Douglas bettered me in the first few days of my holiday and despite some good choices I did eat and drink way too much whilst away and am now left with about 4kg extra to contend with. Arghhhhh.

Having said that I am right back on track. I fully intend to be bikini ready for Christmas so best get on with it I think. Will post my official weigh in on Friday (but know from my home scales that my photos and souvenirs are not the only things I have brought back with me from Oz).

Only 10kg to Go!

2008-07-01T03:36:00.000-07:00

Weighed in early on Monday night and have lost another 600g this week bringing my total weight loss now to 20.5kg in 22 weeks - that means that I am 2/3rds of the way to goal and have only 10kg left to lose. Yipeee!

Have been very busy lately and am still recovering from cold/flu things which is very, very frustrating. I have definitely lost fitness as I have been unable to exercise much. This is a bit disappointing as I was hoping to do a half marathon at the end of the year but now feel that it is unlikely I will be ready - Oh well there is always next year.

Am going away for three weeks holiday to Australia leaving tomorrow. Have been crazy busy trying to get myself ready to catch the plane in time.

Have also made the bold decision to homeschool my 11 year old son who is dyslexic and is really struggling at school. I think the one on one teaching will be very good for him. AND . . . . have just gone unconditional on the new house. Very exciting! and Phew it has been a very busy few weeks.

Will try to log on whilst away but not sure I will be able to so if not will be back on 24 July skinnier than ever. I am determined to not gain weight whilst away and promise I will do lots of walking and swimming and will make the best food choices that I can. It is really funny because I feel really confident that my holiday will not de-rail my weight loss efforts. I cannot ever remember feeling like this before and would have been terrified of undoing all my good work by going away. I really have come a very long way with regards to my thinking.

Taming the Toxic Thought Monster, Preventing Self-Sabotage, and Regaining My Mojo

2008-06-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

Be warned - My ponderings this week are rather deep but this is a subject I feel very strongly about.

This is an intensely personal post which has cost me something to share but I had to share for two reasons – number one, this is my record of my journey for me and this forms part of my journey so has to be included and number two, if even one person is helped by my ramblings then the cost to me of sharing has been more than worth while.

Well it has been a difficult week!

I am so proud of myself this week though because even though it has been a really difficult week I have not resorted to medicating myself with food or drinking myself into oblivion. This is a major breakthrough for me!

I have also learned some pretty important things about myself which, although a bit difficult to work through, will ultimately help me become a better person and more effective at this thing called life. I will probably list some of these things in a later entry but for now suffice to say life is an exciting journey and I don’t want to be a spectator. I want to learn the lessons I need to learn and grow as a person so I am striving to have a good attitude towards the sometimes painful learning curves life throws at me.

I had some events early on in the week which blindsided me really. And initially I did not cope that well with these events – I let the toxic thought monster take over and well I temporarily forgot that I have made some really positive changes in my life and I am not the person the toxic thought monster was trying to convince me that I am any more.

The worst thing is I knew I was going down a rather negative spiral and I felt powerless to change it. Reading through an old publication I had received from WW called Change 4 Good, I realised that my negative thoughts were a load of crap. My thoughts and beliefs about myself were faulty – it was my choice to be OK now or not to be OK. And I chose to be OK. Once I made that declaration to myself that I was OK well I was OK and things got progressively better from there – not because my circumstances had changed but because my thoughts had changed. This made me realise how powerful our thoughts really are.

Whilst there will always be difficult circumstances and circumstances that we have no control over, I do believe that you do win or lose by the way you choose to react – and you can choose to be OK. It is ALL about attitude. Now that doesn’t mean you won’t be sad or angry or have stuff to work through (it is good to feel your emotions) but you can choose to take the lesson you need to take, to grieve if necessary, to take the time to heal if need be but through all of this to decide that you are and will be OK. You will come out a stronger and better person.

These are not hollow words from me – I have had my fair share of “crap” in my life. I also know that I am incredibly blessed and am very, very grateful for the many blessings in my life.

Some quotes from the Weight Watchers publication Change 4 Good – Your Guide to Transformation which I found extremely helpful this week.

“The greatest revolution in our generation is that of human beings, who by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives”. Marilyn Ferguson.

Believe in yourself. Dispute you faulty beliefs.

Thoughts evoke feelings which spark behaviours that determine life outcomes.

Setbacks are the key obstacles on the path to change. But it is our belief systems that determine whether these glitches will be stepping stones to transformation or snags that will unravel all of our success to date.

Become aware of your negative thoughts, challenge your negative thoughts, and replace old negative thoughts with constructive new ones.

At the end of the day it all comes back to the thoughts you nuture. Keep in mind that like weeds, negative thoughts don’t just pack up and leave on their own. If you don’t attend to them and keep them in check, pretty soon they will be overrunning your garden. So face them head-on, see them for what they are, and rip them out by the root!

Are you worthy of change – YES! Always remember you have the power to change. At the end of the day, change is a choice and you are ultimately responsible for your own change. No-one can do it for you and no-one can take it away from you. That’s where true confidence comes from: knowing that you have the choice, and the power, to change.

Lessons From This Week

I like everyone to get on and be happy. I do not like conflict and I am not particularly good at dealing with it. My desire for peace at any costs is however not healthy. Sometimes that price is just too high. I am not good at facing issues head on and sometimes I need to grow up and do just that for my sake and also because it is the best thing for others too. (Didn’t I already learn this lesson – same lesson, different scenario – must have failed the exam first time round!).

I am a merciful and generous person and sometimes people take advantage of that and I feel hurt and unappreciated. At the end of the day however I do not want to be any other way. This is a precious part of who I am. If people do not appreciate me then that is their issue. I do not want to stop being merciful and generous.

Never assume that you know what someone else is thinking. Always strive to communicate effectively.

People may sometimes be hurt, offended, or disappointed by me but I know that it is NEVER my intention to deliberately hurt, offend, or disappoint anyone. Sometimes my intentions are misunderstood and that is OK – I know the truth. Being misunderstood does not make me a bad person.

Just because I make one mistake does not mean I am a failure at everything!

Sometimes I feel like I am letting people down. Having seriously reflected on this, I can see that the issue is that I let people put expectations on me and then when I start to feel pressured by those expectations I resent it. I need to learn to say no and not let people put expectations on me that I am not happy with. I need to under promise and over deliver rather than the other way around.

I can either choose to try to please everyone all of the time and tie myself up in knots or NOT. It is my choice. I choose NOT.

Other people can not make me feel inadequate. I can either choose to let other people's words and actions towards me make me feel inadequate or NOT. I choose NOT.

I need to not take things personally which are not personal! I need to step back and realise when I am taking some emotional baggage in to a situation and strive to dump it.

I need to realise that I do have emotional baggage (most people do - it does not make me crazy or a failure!) and that this is worked through in layers so even though I may think I have totally dealt with something, I need to be aware that life will bring things back around which I need to do deeper sorting out on and not to be surprised by this. This is part of growing as a human being and experiencing life to the full. I wouldn’t have this any other way. I never want to stop learning or striving to become a better person.

I definitely need to work on being consistent and organised. These are probably the areas I most need to work on in my life but I also need to remind myself that I do have lots of excellent qualities also. I need to remember nobody is perfect.

I am an eternal optimist and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would rather be disappointed than never expect things to go well or dream big and have great expectations.

It is OK for me to feel good about myself. I am worthy of change. I do not need to punish myself for past or present failures by self- sabotaging my efforts.

Conclusion

Personally I think losing weight is ALL IN YOUR MIND. If you can win the battle over your thoughts, the rest is not that hard actually.

No doubt the toxic thought monster will come back from time to time but that is OK because I now know that I have everything I need to make a conscious effort to take it to him and send him packing.

Oh and I found my mojo – it was under the couch!

What Happened??

2008-06-06T13:36:00.000-07:00

Weigh in this week and I have gained 100g. Actually I am not too upset about this for a number of reasons - but mainly becuase I deserved to gain more than that and I know that this 100g gain is just the kick I need to get me focussing on where I really want to be and what I need to do to get there.

So what happened - I got complacent! I thought I could "modify" the programme and still lose weigh and guess what - I WAS WRONG!

I had a hungry week and instead of filling up on great core choices, I ate too much of the wrong things.

I had lunch out with my sister, made good choices until it came to dessert, and then ate a huge peice of banana toffee pie which was actually delicious and I don't really regret except that I really only needed a very little bit as I was full before I even started eating it. Next time I'm just going to have a little bit!

The whole house buying/selling thing no doubt added to my sense of wanting to comfort eat this week and I didn't exercise much this week which is how I should have been dealing with the stress associated with this stuff - not by eating!

We had a couple of nights where takeaway was the order of the day simply because that is what the kids and hubby wanted. I should have had something else and next time I will. I understand that they will want takeaways sometimes especially when we are running late and they are cold and hungry and at those times I just need to either make the best choice on the menu or have something else - not sure that burgers and fries were the best choice I could have made!

So thats it, and I need to remind myself why getting to goal is more important to me than rubbish food, and get back into a proper routine of doing the right things again (drinking enough water, exercising most days, and making sure I am eating enough fruit, veg, and dairy etc.) and also make time for me - because when it is busy and stressful I need "me' time more than ever - so this week is ME week.

Four Months, 18 Kilos, and Reflections

2008-05-30T14:19:00.001-07:00

Well have just finished my fourth month on WW and at weigh in this morning have lost another 1.7kg bringing my total loss to date to 18 kilos. Wooo hooo!!

I have been reflecting on my journey and have some thoughts I would like to share:

1. Four months is not that long. In four months I have lost 18 kilos. In that same four months if I had kept going how I was and not started WW then I would probably have put on another 4kg from where I was - so the weight difference from making good choices is probably actually 22kg for me in the past four months. And it has not been hard!

2. I feel incredible. I have so much more energy than when I started. I am still buzzing around at 10pm at night full of energy. This was not typical for me before!

3. My feet are feeling fantastic. I can now walk long distances without any pain at all. When I started WW four months ago my feet were killing me. They could not handle the extra weight!

4. I feel much more healthy than I was.

5. It is so much easier to make good choices now - for the most part they are almost automatic. My tastes have changed. I am really enjoying the flavour of healthy food. I am forming healthy habits.

6. I have learned a lot about how my weight fluctuates with my monthly cycle, and how this affects my hunger levels. I know that I will lose slower some weeks and have bigger losses other weeks and I have learned not to be disheartened by not such good weeks as I know it evens out in the end.

7. I have kept the promises I made to myself about this journey. I have not quit. That feels fantastic. I feel like my personal integrity towards myself has gone up expotentially.

8. I have learned that you can lose weight without being fanatical and that you can still have a life. This has been an important lesson for me as previous weight loss efforts have led to unsustainable behaviours.

9. I have learned my triggers and am learning how to deal with these things. I know that I have to be organised and have good food on hand. I know that if I plan to succeed I will succeed.

10. I know that I will succeed. It is not if any more, it is when. My belief in myself and what I can achieve has been restored.

11. I can feel my muscles - still can't see them that well yet but I can feel them.

12. My stamina has increased. I bounce back from a strenuous day much better than I did before. A good nights sleep restores my energy where as before a busy few days could leave me feeling tired for a week. I am also able to cope much better with "life".

13. I have learned to eat treats in moderation. Quite an achievement for an all or nothing girl! This was one of the lessons I most wanted to learn.

14. I have learned to listen to my body's hunger signals whereas before I would eat for a whole host of reasons - but very seldom was it hunger (ie because it was mealtime, because I was bored, because I was angry, because I liked the taste of something).

15. I am enjoying exercise and the buzz it gives me. Last week when I was too sick to exercise I really missed it.

This is an amazing journey which has been so worth it. But it is about so much more than losing weight - losing weight is just the icing on the cake.

Hurdles

2008-05-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

Weigh in this morning and I have lost another 500g, which I am happy about, but of course more would have been nice too.

I have had a stupid week. I have a head cold and on top of that we have shifted in to my Mum and Dad's house while they are away and our house is on the market (which is fabulous as I don't have to do super clean all the time but is also quite a disruption to my routine).

Because I have been sick I have not gotten nice groceries for Mum's house and the boys have lived on takeaways this week basically with me having whatever I could scrounge from the cuboards. Not good planning and does not make for good choices!

I have also felt quite sorry for myself for feeling sick (pathetic I know - maybe I have "man" flu) and have twice this week decided to comfort eat to make myself feel better. This has been quite conscious - I could have stopped myself but I decided not to because I just didn't care - man I hate being sick! It must be terrible for people who are chronically ill.

Anyhow the upshot of this is that I did not make fantastic choices this week and I am lucky not to have had a gain. Now for getting myself properly well and getting well and truly back on track again. Next week I am going to report a loss (and no doubt I will have to work very hard to ensure that this week doesn't catch up with me and deny me that loss).

So heres to renewed focus and determination (and to accepting that I am human and that sometimes life does get in the way of our journey a bit and that is OK too).

I have also learned this week that disorganisation and illness are two hurdles I need to manage very carefully!

P.S. Dear hubby has moved my gym equipment to Mums so I can exercise even when it is wet. Wasn't that nice of him!

Oh and I have now lost 16.3kg in the last 16 weeks since I started my WW journey. Yay me!

I'm a 60's Girl!!

2008-05-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

Weighed in early this week due to having to work Friday (and because I wanted to get to my May Madness Challenge weight!).

Guess what. Got to meeting and we now have to weigh with our shoes on - something I haven't been doing. So I weighed my shoes = 400g and I weighed myself = 69.6kg. That is a loss of 1kg even with my shoes on (1.4kg without).

So I am a 60's girl at long last, and I have met my May Madness Challenge weight of 70kg at the very last minute, and I have lost over 15kg, and I am over half way to goal - lots of accomplishments tonight.

A very exciting night indeed.

Almost but not quite

2008-05-09T13:08:00.001-07:00

Weigh in this morning and have lost another 600g. Now whilst I am really happy to have lost, especially seeing as I have eaten out a few times this week and have not been as focussed as I could have been, I was hoping to get to my Skinny Train May Madness Challenge weight of 70kg this week. So almost but not quite - but next week for sure!!

We have just put our house on the market so it will be another busy and interesting week this week. I know from past experience that I need to be organised and not lose my focus so that is my goal for this week. I am doing a raid with the ladies from the WW Core Board "Mother of a Raid" so that should help me stay focussed.

60s here I come!!

Ups and Downs

2008-05-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

A loss of 500g this week at my official WW weigh in. I didn't weigh at WW last week due to Anzac Day but had lost 600g on my home scales last Friday - so a bit confusing as to whether or not I actually lost or gained this week.

My home scales have been doing wild up and down movements for the past two weeks and were up Tuesday when I had to post my weight for the "Biggest Loser" competition on the WW boards so I was eliminated this week - a bit disappointing because even though I did have a blow out this week I didn't think I had been that bad. It seems that my weight does fluctuate depending on where I am in my monthly cycle so I have to keep reminding myself that and "JUST KEEP GOING". It all seems to even out in the end. I am hoping for a good loss this week.

My WW leader said to me today that she wants me to enter the Slimmer of the Year competition next year. I told her that was the plan. I was pretty chuffed to have her say that to me. It made my day.

Bumps on the Road to Success.

2008-04-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well I'm about 1/2 way through week 13 and have just had my first real hiccup on the road to a new me.

Hubby and I had a nasty row, and the old me took over, downed half a bottle of red wine, and ate 3 fresh white bread rolls with lots of olivio spread. I wasn't even hungry!! And now I feel sick -I have heartburn for the first time in months.

Anyhow tomorrow is a new day and I am dusting myself off and keeping on going - disappointed though that my immediate reaction to a nasty row was to eat and drink myself silly. I was hoping that this kind of coping strategy was in the past for me but this brought up some pretty yucky history for me. Damage = approx 22 points. Positive out of this = I know now that this is a real danger area for me and I am going to plan some alternative strategies for when I feel upset and just don't care. Sorry for the negative post. Just wanted to get this off my chest and promise to myself and all my invisi-buddies out in cyberland that as of now I am back on track!

Lost 1.7kg this week!

2008-04-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

OK I can hardly believe it - Another 1.7kg this week!! I asked the weigher at my meeting to weigh me twice just to check it was right because I was soooo stunned. My weight loss seems to be speeding up not slowing down as I have been expecting. Amazing! I feel like two million dollars right now (one million just doesn't describe it!).

I only have 1.5kg until I reach half way to goal. I am on an amazing weight loss high right now. And I'm eating heaps of yummy food, enjoying life, and exercising sensibly (aiming for 10,000 steps a day). Who would have thought I could lose better doing it this way than going carb free or exercising like a freak or starving myself. Amazing!

12 Kgs!!

2008-04-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Weigh in this morning and I have lost another 1.4kgs. I have now lost 12kgs!! I can hardly believe it - somebody pinch me. I can't wipe the smile off my face.

All or Nothing Mentality

2008-04-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

I have reflected on my weight gains and losses over the past almost 20 years and have concluded that the reason I keep gaining back weight is my all or nothing mentality - so one of my major goals for this journey is to beat that mentality for good. It is so destructive to us long term, makes sensible weight loss impossible, and leads us to do things in relation to food which are really very warped (not to mention the phsycial affects this must have on our bodies long term!).

I have decided that whatever I do must be sustainable for the rest of my life - this means no extreme dieting, no extreme exercising, and definitely no binge and purge or binge and punish type behaviour (ie 3 hours at the gym to pay for that pizza I just ate!). It also includes things like not skipping meals before weigh ins. This is the only way I can see myself being successful long term.

So this time, I am having treats in moderation, I am making sure I am eating sensible amounts, and I am exercising normally (not obsessively!). I am also challenging my tendency to be extremist all the time - this is probably the hardest thing that I am doing - and will keep doing this as long as it takes to learn the life skills I need - everything in moderation!

Overweight!

2008-04-02T16:29:00.000-07:00

Have just weighed in and have lost another 800g bringing my total weight loss to 10.6kg and my current weight to 74.8 and guess what . . . this makes my BMI 30 which means that I am no longer seriously overweight or obese but just plain old overweight. Yipppee!!!!!!!!!!!!!This journey is so exciting and it just keeps getting better.

Compliments Thick and Fast

2008-03-31T17:19:00.000-07:00

The compliments are coming. The compliments are COMING!!!!Just had two work colleagues who didn't know I was trying to lose weight comment separately on how much skinnier I looked.Yay!!!!

Guess what I did in bed last night?

2008-03-29T19:50:00.000-07:00

I lay down and I could feel my hip bones with my fingers!!And I can see my collar bone!And I can look in the mirror and see that I have lost weight. It is soooo exciting!

Surviving Easter

2008-03-26T16:25:00.000-07:00

Well my weekend went really well. My enjoy in moderation motto really worked and I am so proud of myself as I tend to be an all or nothing girl (quite good at losing weight actually and equally as good at putting it back on again!). Anyhow this time its for life so I was really pleased to feel in control this weekend and to have some wine, a marshmellow easter egg and a couple of Hersheys kisses, and a Hot X bun with margarine, lunch out, and some extra ingredients in my core meals and still feel in control.I really enjoyed my eating and exercising this weekend. The only thing I feel I dropped the ball a bit on was my water intake.Anyhow not sure if I will lose or not this week but I don't think I will gain much if anything either and I have had a fantastic weekend and feel this has defintely been a mindset victory for me.Anyhow hope everyone else had a fabulous Easter too.Will post again when I weigh in tomorrow night to let you know how I went weight wise.

Not sure if anyone has actually even read this or not . . . but anyway I;m gonna post because I am so thrilled to say that I have lost another 1.2kg this week. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10%

2008-03-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yay! Just had to skite. I have lost 10% of me.

Me a Duathlete!

2008-03-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well today I completed my first ever duathlon (see photos). I did it in 1 hr 17 mins and 29 seconds - 3.5km walk/run, 10km bike, 1.5km walk/run (read walk!!).

I am so proud of myself. What a wonderful feeling to cross that finish line.

I had told a few people that I was doing this and got some feedback which made me doubt I could do this "Can you do that?" "I didn't know you were that fit" - I just about decided not to attempt it so I am super pleased that I ignored the comments and did it anyway. I am capable of way more than I give myself credit for!

When is the next one?

5kg and Under 80kg

2008-03-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

Weigh in today and I have lost 2.2 kg after gaining 2oog last week which I did not deserve and now the scales obviously agree with me.This brings me to 6.6kg in total in the past 5 weeks without being hungry once, whilst living normally (having guests for meals, going out for meals, etc.), eating some choccie, some wine, some cheese. It also means I have reached my first goal of losing 5kg and my second goal of going under 80kg. I am now only 1.6kg off my third goal which is to lose my first 10%. Once I get to 75kg my BMI will be 30 which means that I am no longer considered obese (I hate hate hate that word) but just overweight. Oh yay.WW works.

Eeek a Gain!

2008-02-28T16:12:00.000-08:00

Today I gained 200g which I did not deserve. I ate well all week and exercised heaps. I am feeling really gutted and want to give up because WW doesn't work! But guess what, I am not giving up. I know this is probably hormonal/fluid retention. I just have to get my head in the right space again and keep going. Very hard but I am putting this promise out in to cyberspace - I will not give up!! I am going to get over myself and keep on going.

What?

2008-02-14T15:28:00.000-08:00

I am doing the Weight Watchers core plan.

The basis of the core plan is learning to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are satisfied (not stuffed) from a list of good healthy foods. A great skill to learn!

You can also have other non-core foods and treats in moderation. Another great skill to learn!

It doesn't feel like I am on a diet. You don't have to weigh and measure or write everything down. I think I can eat like this long term.

My skin, hair, and eyes feel much healthier now I am eating this way. I also have loads more energy.

I love core!

I have also set myself lots of little goals and decided on rewards for achieving my goals (which include things like staying on track, exercise goals, weight loss goals, and overcoming temptations).

I wear a pedometer and am challenging myself to make at least 10,000 steps a day.

I am an active member of the Weight Watchers Online community (Superbanana is my WW online name). I am finding the motivation and support I recieve from the online community incredible. I have started a daily thread called the pedometer challenge where I post my steps for the previous day. I also post my menu and exercise plans on the daily core chat each morning. This makes me plan my food choices at the start of the day rather than just grabbing whatever. I think lack of planning and organisation has definitely been one of the reasons I have not succeeded previously. That and losing focus so I have also joined some online challenges which help keep me motivated (Skinny Train, Biggest Loser, Team Core Challenge).

I also attend a weekly Weight Watchers meeting to weigh in.

But most of all - my head is in the right space this time and it just doesn't feel that difficult any more. I am going to do this!

Why??? 10 Reasons.

2008-02-01T15:20:00.000-08:00

I have decided to lose weight because it is time!

1. My feet are killing me. I can't walk very far and when I get up in the morning I can hardly walk on them. I am terrified that I am wearing out my joints by carrying so much extra weight. I do not want to lose my mobility. I am only 33.

2. I am tired, lethargic, and depressed and I am sick of feeling this way.

3. I want to be fit, healthy, and energetic. I want to be a healthy example for my family.

4. I want to look better.

5. I thought I was having a heart attack over the Christmas break. I do not want to have a heart attack. I also don't want to get diabetes (which runs in the family). I have realised that there is no point in having money or growing old if you don't have the health to enjoy these things.

6. I decided New Years Eve to make my new years resolutions in February knowing that it would be to lose weight. So my February resolution is to lose weight. It is time!

7. I weigh more than my husband! 100 kilos is getting scarily close.

8. I have had a really rough few years personally, and things are much, much better now but I still have all this excess weight gained from emotional eating to carry around with me as a reminder of all the things I would rather move on from.

9. I weigh 12.4kg more than I did full term pregnant with my youngest son and 16.4 kg more than I did full term pregnant with my oldest son. Scary!!

10. I can't fit my wedding ring.

IT IS TIME!!

The Journey Begins

2008-02-01T15:16:00.000-08:00

Today I joined Weight Watchers. This is not my first attempt but this is going to be my last attempt because this time I am going to make goal, obtain Life Time Membership, and stay there - why? Because this time I am going to make sure that what I do is sustainable for life. I am looking to change my habits and not just for a quick fix like my previous attempts. I don't care how long it takes so long as I get there and have learned the skills to stay there.

Hi Everyone!

2008-02-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

Well hi everyone. This is my online record of my weight loss journey - hope you will enjoy it - once I figure out how to do this blasted blogging thing!